Break Up with Your Boo? Light Up a Blunt: A Stoner’s Guide to Healing

Photo by Adefemi Adedoyin

So... You Got Dumped. Or maybe you did the dumping. Doesn't matter. Your heart's in the blender, the group chat is on red alert, and you're one sad song away from texting someone you swore you were done with. You've already scrolled too deep into TikTok tarot, asked the algorithm if they miss you (they don't), and let Reddit convince you it's all your fault (it's not).

Let's cut the noise. You don't need another "just focus on yourself, babe" post from someone who's never had their soul shattered by a situationship. You need something real. Something grounding. Something that helps you feel better without pretending you're fine.

We propose a different kind of medicine:

Weed.

Not to numb. Not to escape. But to feel.

To process the grief, the anger, the regret, the relief. To cry when you need to cry and laugh when the delusion wears off. To remind you that healing isn't a linear process, but it can be highly poetic.

Because heartbreak sucks, but weed helps.

Let's light up, break down, and rebuild. Here's your stoner's guide to healing.

Step 1: Smoke It Out (With the Right Strain)

This isn't the time for paranoid sativas or productivity highs. You need a strain that wraps you up in a weighted blanket of 'it's going to be okay.' Here are our go-to heartbreak hitters:

• Granddaddy Purple: The OG grief strain. Body-melting and emotionally grounding. Pairs well with ugly crying.

• Pink Kush: A Canadian classic for when you want to cry, snack, and nap (in that order).

• Lava Cake: For when your heartache needs a side of 'I still look hot AF in this hoodie.'

• Blackberry Kush: Earthy, dreamy, and introspective. Makes you think, Why was I even dating them anyway?

  
  

Step 2: Curate Your Sad Girl Playlist

Weed makes music hit harder. Use that to your advantage.

Some bangers for breakdowns:

• "From the Dining Table" – Harry Styles

• "Liability" – Lorde

• "Wasted Times" – The Weeknd

• "I Wish You Roses" – Kali Uchis

• "Bags" – Clairo

• "Cherry Wine" – Hozier

• "Let Her Go" – Mac Miller

• "Everything I Wanted" – Billie Eilish

  
  

Pro tip: Cry once. Then queue up Megan, SZA, or Ice Spice to bring you back from the dead.

Step 3: Romanticize Your Sadness

Being heartbroken doesn't mean being broken. Sad girl era? Romanticize it. You're the main character.

• Smoke in the bath with candles you stole from their place.

• Journal high. Read it later. Laugh.

• Create a weed-and-water playlist and cry under a shower, as if it were an A24 movie.

• Post a thirst trap and ghost everyone who replies.

• Watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and eat that entire pint of ice cream — judgment-free.

  
  

Step 4: Don't Text Your Ex. Text Your Plug.

Heartbreak is temporary. Your plug is consistent. If you're lucky, they even check in.

Instead of "I miss you," try:

"Hey, you free for a quick drop?"

TL;DR

You don't need closure. You need closure, OG.

 You don't need your ex back. You need a fresh eighth and a playlist.

 You don't need to be strong. You just need to feel and let the weed hold space for you.